


To Face the Heaviness

by Foremast



Category: The Letter for the King (TV)
Genre: (kind of?), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Canon Compliant, Could be continued, Fix-It, M/M, shouldn't have gone for angst now i'm sad again, why did i go for angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23279674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foremast/pseuds/Foremast
Summary: They buried Jussipo thirteen years ago. Piak has grown up, Tiuri and Lavinia have moved away and Arman has strayed as far away from his father's footsteps as humanly possible. Foldo is left, stranded and in pain. He'd had plans for the future but they'd all been made with Jussipo by his side. He's been moving along but he's never managed to move on.Then Jussipo comes back.
Relationships: Foldo/Jussipo (The Letter for the King)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 185





	To Face the Heaviness

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: the author is salty and decides to fix it but it's 4am and for some reason she went with suffering

They’d been inseparable since they were kids. Foldo couldn’t remember a time in his life where Jussipo wasn’t right next to him, always humming or singing or whistling or strumming. He’d annoyed the life out of everyone else around them, but he’d never been able to bother Foldo away. When they entered the tournament Foldo had known Jussipo would be right by his side through it all, they’d win together and become knights together and travel the world, leaving a trail of justice and swooning admirers in their wake.

Foldo knew he loved Jussipo just like he knew the sun would rise in the morning and set at night. He’d known he loved him long before he kissed him, he’d known ever since Jussipo had woken him up in the middle of the night to show him the nest of baby duckling’s he’d found when they were eleven. He’d probably loved him before then too, Jussipo was inevitable like that.

Piak and Foldo had cried together at Piak’s wedding, it’d been ten years since Jussipo’s death and yet Foldo still found himself halting at the sudden realisation that Jussipo _wasn’t there_. He never got to see his little brother grow up. He never got to meet Sir Piak and his Lady Lenisa. Jussipo would’ve been the greatest uncle to the tiny Fenna that was now curled up in Foldo’s arms. He felt like crying all over again.

When Piak was thirteen he developed the awful habit of falling in love with every girl in his vicinity. Where his brother had composed songs of heroic tales and wonder, Piak’s songs would only ever be about the fairness of maidens and their ability to thaw even the hearts of the coldest man. He’d asked Foldo, once, if he thought he’d ever love again. Because Piak had known, Piak was impulsive and loud but he was also observant and so much like his older brother that it _hurt_.

Foldo wouldn’t ever love again though, because he’d never stopped loving.

\---

Foldo wanted to scream. He was a knight for god’s sake. He’d fought and won battles and defeated monsters and armies and travelled all across the land and he would not be bested by a cranky two-year-old. Fenna disagreed and wailed again while Foldo desperately tried to silence her pleas by bouncing her up and down and patting her back like he’d seen Lenisa do countless times. Fenna cried louder.

He was going to kill Piak.

Three days ago, Piak and Lenisa had decided to go on a trip together because “romance Foldo, that we’re already married with child doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be dead to the world’s beauty”. He’d dropped Fenna off at Foldo’s home with no regard for any of the plans Foldo might’ve had for the week and told him to take care of his child and that they’d probably be back in a week. Maybe more if they were having “fun”. Foldo had hastily covered little Fenna’s ears and told Piak to sod off already because clearly, he was a terrible influence on Foldo’s dearest niece. He regretted it now though. Oh, he regretted it so much, because Fenna was fun for an afternoon, even a night was alright but several days was just hell. She might’ve just been missing her parents or maybe Foldo had accidentally ruined absolutely everything and he might as well set himself on fire now because it couldn’t get any worse.

There was a knock on the door and Fenna managed to get even louder. Foldo decided then and there that he was never allowing her to leave her parent’s sight ever again.

The person outside knocked again and Foldo stumbled over to the door with Fenna in his arms while trying and failing to avoid Fenna’s toys strewn around that he hadn’t had time to clean yet because everything was a mess, even his usually meticulously organised writing desk looked like a tornado had passed by and when had that even happened and-

Foldo opened the door.

Piak stood outside. Except it wasn’t Piak because Piak was taller than that and this man was older and his hair was longer and his eyes were different, but he looked so painfully familiar and this couldn’t be real, right? It couldn’t be. Foldo was exhausted and hallucinating or he was dreaming, and he’d wake up and he would still be dead, _he was dead,_ and he wouldn’t be standing right there alive and-

“Foldo?”

-and the world went quiet. Foldo couldn’t hear Fenna’s offended crying anymore, all the nearby street vendors and shops and people had suddenly fallen on deaf ears and he didn’t know what to say or what to do, he was still holding a toddler for god’s sake and he was panicking and he was right there across from him. Alive.

“Where have you been?” Foldo said and Jussipo could feel his heart breaking. Shattering in a thousand pieces at the broken sound of his voice that seemed to come straight from his heart.

“I don’t know.” He says, because he doesn’t. He only knows that he woke up not too long ago in a small room being nursed back to health by a girl about his age. Except she wasn’t his age, he was older now. Intuitively he knew how old he was, he knew exactly how much time had passed since he’d died. He had died. But he hadn’t been dead the whole time, not really, but he also didn’t know what he had been instead. The only thing he’d know for certain was that somewhere, out there, was Foldo and he had to find him because things just weren’t right without Foldo there.

So, he went and found Foldo, Sir Foldo now. He’d asked around in the area of their old town and it hadn’t been hard to find him because Foldo was good and righteous and he’d been going around the area helping people out and protecting them from bandits and wild animals and apparently everyone knew who his Foldo was. Jussipo was too relieved to hear that his friend (more than friend, still? after all these years?) was doing alright, good. Well.

The toddler in Foldo’s arms was still crying and Foldo looked like he might actually faint soon so Jussipo instinctively reached out his arms to take the toddler from him. Foldo handed her over without hesitation and promptly sat down on the floor and closed his eyes, his hands were shaking. The toddler in Jussipo’s eyes looked at him in wonder, Jussipo awkwardly patted her back and she finally seemed to quiet down a little. She grabbed a strand of his long hair and tugged. Looked up at him again. Down at her uncle. Up at Jussipo.

“Daddy?”

And that’s when Foldo started crying actual real tears. His shoulders were shaking and he sounded so pained that Jussipo’s heart broke all over again. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know where he stood with Foldo now. It’d been thirteen years since he died and he didn’t know if Foldo was still the same person he’d known back then. Didn’t know if he himself was still the same person. But the toddler in his arms made the decision for him by reaching down towards her… caretaker? father? and since Jussipo is still lucid enough to be aware of the fact that he can’t just drop her he has to stoop down to place her next to Foldo, putting them at eye-level at the exact moment Foldo looks up.

And when Jussipo looks into his eyes he can’t help himself; he’s missed Foldo. He’s been dead but not dead for thirteen years and while it doesn’t feel like time has passed it also feel like it’s been centuries since he last saw him and he doesn’t know what to do with all those feelings so the only thing he can do is hug him. He holds Foldo like he’s done so many times before and he knows that this time, he’s never letting go. They’re on the floor and Foldo is crying and Jussipo is pretty sure he’s crying too and there’s a confused toddler next to them who’s too distracted by her uncle and daddy-but-not-daddy-because-he-looks weird to consider crying again and Jussipo knows that after thirteen years, he’s finally home.

So they sit there, with people walking by and giving them odd looks and Fenna’s quietly playing with some toys a few steps away, carefully keeping watch because that’s her responsibility now. And Foldo and Jussipo sit there for what feels like hours but probably isn’t that much because Fenna would’ve been fussing after that much time has passed, she took after her father in that.

When Fenna does start fussing, Jussipo reluctantly pulls away from the embrace, Foldo, however, seems unaware of his surroundings and unwilling to let go. Jussipo strokes his hair and gives him a watery smile.

“I’m here now. I’m not leaving.” He hesitantly places a kiss on Foldo’s forehead and internally sighs in relief when Foldo doesn’t immediately pull away, he still doesn’t really know what they are because back then they never really had the time to become something. He holds one of Foldo’s hands in his and Foldo raises his head again to look him in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere.” He strokes his hair again and repeats himself. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They get up then, hands still clasped together and when they’re standing they’re still barely inches apart. Foldo awkwardly picks up Fenna with his one free hand and looks outside to gauge the time. He turns towards Jussipo again. “Are you staying for dinner? I’ve got enough to feed all of us.”

Jussipo smiles. He doesn’t really have a choice, he has nowhere else to go. Not that he’d want to be anywhere else but here. “I’d love to.”

They barely talk the next few hours, other than Foldo quietly instructing Jussipo how to cut the potato’s and where to get the plates. Fenna seems entertained enough by the sight of a new person, who she’s now definitively decided is not her daddy because her daddy was the best and never cried so this one couldn’t be her daddy. He also smelled weird. Still, she’d deemed him acceptable and didn’t protest when Jussipo sneaked her some loose pieces of carrot and corn kernels when Foldo wasn’t looking. After dinner Foldo puts Fenna to bed and Jussipo is left by himself to contemplate his friend’s(?) home. There’s the kitchen and dining room they’d just had their dinner in but there’s also a very formal looking sitting room and a room that’s most likely Foldo’s office. In the office he runs into an achingly familiar instrument because while it might not be his lute, it’s still a lute and his fingers are itching to play.

He can’t help but pick up the instrument and strum a familiar tune.

_“Young lords their swords were gleaming.”_

_“Lady admirers beaming”_

_…_

_“And the love between them lasted till the grave.”_ He chokes back a sob and is startled by the sound of Foldo coming closer and standing in front of him.

“It lasted past the grave.” Foldo says and Jussipo looks up.

“I was dead.” He leans his head forward against Foldo’s chest, inhaling the scent of the man who’d been by his side for all those years. He whispers, quietly again. “I was dead, Foldo.”

“Do you know why you’re…”

“Not dead?”

“Hm.”

Jussipo closes his eyes and sighs. “I know I wasn’t dead for long, but I also don’t know what I was instead.” He pauses. “Or where.” Foldo smooths a hand down his back and Jussipo relishes the touch.

“Someone found me in a forest a few weeks back.” He continues. “I don’t know how I got there, but they nursed me back to health. Ironically, I was apparently close to dying.”

Foldo tightens an arm around him. “That isn’t funny Jussipo.”

“I know Fol.” There’s a heavy silence between them, laden with thirteen years of grief and words that should have been said. “When I woke up, the only thing I wanted was to find you.”

“I’m glad you did.” Foldo says and Jussipo grins up at him.

“Say, what’s one thing you’ve really missed while I was gone?”

Foldo can’t help but smile too. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.” And before Foldo can react Jussipo surges up to capture Foldo’s lips with his. The kiss isn’t like their first, their first was soft, filled with hope and youthful innocence. Now, they’re both desperate and Jussipo feels like he might cry. He doesn’t know if they’re tears from sadness at what he’s missed, or happiness at what’s he’s got now, but they’re certainly there. He pulls away and buries his head in Foldo’s chest again, Foldo’s arms securely wrapped around him.

Something light bubbles up inside him and he laughs. “Why is it we always do this with a kid near?” The situation is kind of absurd really. “Is she yours?”

Foldo makes a choked sound that might’ve been a laugh, had the circumstances been different. “No, she’s…” He tugs a few stray strands of hair behind Jussipo’s ear. “She’s Piak’s.”

“Oh.” Jussipo says. He’s an uncle because his little brother is a father. Piak’s grown up. He realises Piak’s absence then and panic strikes him. “Piak?” He says urgently and Foldo frowns. “Is he alright?”

Foldo understands then and tightens his hold on Jussipo just a bit. “He’s alright. He’s on a trip with his wife, he likes to drop Fenna off with me when they’re going on one of their “romantic ventures”.”

“His wife.” Jussipo whispers, his voice filled with wonder at the idea of his baby brother all grown up and married.

“You’d like her, she’s a good person. Just like you.” Jussipo would like to debate that statement, given the fact that he’d abandoned everyone for thirteen years. He knew Foldo would fight it though and he’d much rather avoid that disagreement for now. They’d talk about it later. _If there even is a later_. A treacherous voice in his brain whispers.

“Fol?”

Foldo hums in response.

“I’m scared.” He admits. “I’m really, really scared.”

It’s always been Jussipo’s job to comfort Foldo, not the other way around. Fold is kind of at a loss for what to do now that their roles are reversed. “Just,” He pauses for a second. “Don’t think about it for now. We’ll figure something out.” He kisses Jussipo again, soft and quick. “You’re here now, we’ll worry about the rest of it later.”

“Alright.”

“I’m not letting you go again. Never.”

“Never?”

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> i might continue this in the future. i've got some tentative ideas as to what happened to our dear boy in the past 13 years and i might explore them a bit? would anyone be interested in that?
> 
> ~~update: i did continue! the fic uses the same premise, but because of pacing issues i've decided to keep this as a one shot. so if you want more of jussipo comes back to life and foldo has been pining:[here it is!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314051/chapters/55843465) :D~~ the longer fic has unfortunately been abandoned, but luckily we still have our boys finding happiness in this fic and in the many great fics that have been written by y'all :)


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